Posted by: tazzee | August 29, 2014

Reviews and Previews – August

I think this is going to be my title for my monthly posts. First let me review what I previewed last month. I went to Oakland with AuntieMom to ‘settle’ my late cousin’s estate. I was concerned about the trip before we left and my concerns were valid. Let me just say we didn’t accomplish much. Our ‘escorts’ weren’t very helpful and there’s still some unfinished business. It’s so hard handle business from this side of the country. And our contact in Oakland isn’t very dependable. My Aunt and Uncle are frustrated but I think they have washed their hands of the entire situation. That was at the end of July so what did I do in August? EVERYTHING!!!

The first weekend in August I went back to NC to spend a few days with Mrs. G. I blogged about her before but she’s part of the village that raised me and has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. To give some background, her family is in the process of moving from Cleveland to Charlotte. Her son-in-law has been in Charlotte for over a year and her daughter was waiting for the youngest to graduate HS to move down. Now the youngest is in college in Charlotte and all that’s left is to move down. Unfortunately she has to move 2 households and Mrs. G isn’t being very accommodating so it’s taking longer than planned. Well they were in Charlotte all summer and I needed to go visit. S-I-L had a business trip that week and wanted his wife to go so they asked me to come up and stay with Mrs. G. Of course I said yes. I was there Sunday to Wednesday and while I always enjoy my time with Mrs. G, it was hard because of her disease. It’s hard watching two women you love and admire (my Aunt and Mrs. G) suffer from this disease. My time with them has showed me that I’m more patient than I thought. Mrs. G is worse than AuntieMom but imagine listening to 60 seconds of a story on constant repeat. Mrs G LOVES my hubby so a conversation would go like this:

Mrs. G: MM is a good man, you’re blessed to have him.

Me: Yes he is.

Mrs. G: Does he treat you right? Because he treats me like a queen. Make that a princess because queens are old and I ain’t old *laughter*

Me: Yes ma’am, he treats me very well.

Mrs. G: I know that’s right because you don’t take no mess. I feel sorry for him, you probably fuss at him just like K (her daughter) does A (her S-I-L)

Me: *defending myself*

About 30 seconds later….

Mrs G: MM is a good man, you’re blessed to have him….

And the conversation would repeat. We had variations of that conversation multiple times a day over the 3 day period. I was a little angry at MM before I left for NC so initially, being reminded that he was a good man was just what I needed. But by the end of day 2, I think my anger was ignited because of the part about her feeling sorry for him, LOL. Overall it was a good time in NC. Mrs. G spent the day at a senior center that Tuesday so I got a chance to see my sister and niece and hang out with friends. I hadn’t seen one friend in almost 6 years so that was a very nice time.

So I get back home that Wednesday. Friday night was a football game and Saturday morning I left for a girls’ weekend in NYC. I’m not sure if you’re keeping count but that’s 3 weekends in a row I was out of town without MM. Normally I wouldn’t schedule weekends away like this but the NYC trip was scheduled long before my family trips and after those two labors of love, I needed a girls’ weekend away. And what a wonderful weekend it was!!! We landed early Saturday afternoon, walked around Times Square, had dinner and headed to this interactive play "Sleep No More" – I won’t give a full review of that play, I’ll just say that ish was CRAZY!!! I consider myself a lover of the arts but this was OUT THERE! After it was over, one friend apologized that we spent so much money to experience Sleep No More. But we chocked it up to experiencing new things.

Let me say that this trip was to celebrate 2 birthdays. Normally I research what we’re going to do and I provide input on restaurants and hotels, etc. But because I’m a birthday gal, I committed to go with the flow. For example, 2 in the crew love what I call "frou frou" restaurants. Restaurants with a bunch of food I can’t pronounce, sushi, etc. I’ll be the first to admit that I have a very basic palate and usually, if one of these ladies picks a restaurant, I have to check the menu before I agree to go. By the by, these frou frou restaurants are also usually very expensive and I’m not for paying a lot for a nothing. Anywho on this trip I was going with the flow. So I just paid my money for the plays and hotel and went with the flow. The hotel was very nice and the restaurant picks were good. But that interactive play Saturday night? Well it was an experience. I didn’t get perturbed about the play until the next afternoon when we went to see Lady Day. Why was I perturbed? When we were buying tickets for Lady Day, we considered getting table seats instead of regular seats. The table seats were about $100 more. Again, I’m going with the flow. The consensus was the regular seats.

First let me say that Lady Day was GREAT!!! Audra McDonald was phenomenal as Billie Holiday. PHENOMENAL!!! Lady Day is set in a club where Billie is performing. The table seats are like tables at a club and Audra walked around and touched folks. I most definitely would have paid $100 more to be part of the play. I would have most definitely paid $100 more to be interactive with Audra McDonald as Billie Holiday instead of the interactive ‘experience’ we had Saturday night. All in all I we had a great NYC trip. But next time, I’m doing my research LOL.

The following weekend, MM and I headed to Vegas for a week. If you’re keeping count, I have traveled every weekend this month. Again, this vacation was scheduled before my 2 family trips. Initially August was going to be a quick girls’ trip and then a real vacay with MM. We stayed off the strip in Vegas and rented a car so we got a chance to experience Vegas like never before. We really didn’t do much on the strip. We drove to the Hoover Dam (beautiful) and tried some local restaurants. Our resort was nice and I went to water aerobics twice while there. I have decided that becoming a certified water aerobics instructor is on my bucket list. The day we arrived in Vegas, the high was 106. Two days later we were down to a high of 93. That day, it was warmer in ATL than Vegas. We were blessed with good weather while there. It was a great trip.

I messed around and joined a biking challenge during the month of August. I was able to take Blue (my bike) to NC to get in some miles but being out of town most of the month has taken me down to the wire. I need to get in a little over 10 miles tomorrow to reach my goal. Before we head to UncleDad’s for the Labor Day holiday. Yup, that’s part of my preview – I’m heading out of town AGAIN this weekend. Honestly, I considered not going but then I heard how UncleDad was looking forward to our visit and I felt compelled to go. I’m not sure if I mentioned that MM hung out in NC while AuntieMom and I were in Oakland. He and UncleDad really enjoyed one another during that time. They did man stuff (working on cars, etc) and ate what they wanted. They got along before, but now they’re BFFs and I can’t keep them apart this weekend. Part of me really wants to just chill but that’s not happening in the near future.

Next weekend is the start of the NFL regular season. We open against the sAints so this is hate week. The following weekend, MM and I head back to Charlotte. I need to sit down somewhere – but there’s too much life to be lived right now. I’ll update y’all next month.

Posted by: tazzee | July 23, 2014

Reviews and Previews

Since we last ‘spoke’ I’ve gone to the Essence Festival, the On the Run Tour and completed the 10 day Green Smoothie Cleanse. I shall review each:

The 2014 Essence Music Festival – I had a good time. Not great but good. Prince was GREAT!!! Jill Scott and Mary J were good as usual. I didn’t go to the Sunday night concert – I was tired. So why wasn’t it a great time? For this to be the 20th anniversary of the EMF, it was the worst one I’ve attended. I think Essence blew the bank on Prince (totally worth it) so some of the other acts were lacking. For instance on Sunday there wasn’t one person I wanted to see in the Super Lounges. All the great Super Lounge acts were on Friday and Saturday and that’s when the mainstage acts were the best. I don’t know who planned this, but you would think they’d want to entice people to stay until Sunday. Also, the app for the fest sucked hot monkey balls. All acts were listed as "Superdome" instead of the various superlounges/mainstage. Shoot, we know all the acts are at the superdome – duh!!! I guess the app is the reason why Essence didn’t have an abundance of the little booklets I’m accustomed to getting that lists all the acts/location/times. So the first night, I went around taking pictures of all the Super Lounge billboards so I’d know who was playing where and when.

I love New Orleans (the city, not the stanking sAints) so I always have a good time in the city. But I’m tired of the ‘black tax’ that comes with the EMF. Close to $600 for a RT flight, hotels charging double/triple what they normally charge and requiring prepayment. Restaurants claiming they’re closed for renovations during the festival… I may need an EMF break for a few more years!

On the Run – ALL KINDS OF AWESOME!!!

*ok, I was typing this from my email and I don’t know what happened, but it sent too early.* Anywho (what was that about?) I am a Beyonce fan. Love her! I like Jay too. The two of them together was perfect! From the intro, to the movie, to the transitions, to the family videos at the end, everything was GREAT!!! One of the best concerts I’ve attended in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, Prince will always be my all time favorite concert performer, but On the Run was a production! If I could, I would see that show again in a heartbeat.

10 day Green Smoothie Cleanse – based on the book by JJ Smith. I discovered this gem via FB. A lot of folks were doing it and I kept saying, there’s no way I could go 10 days without eating meals. But it kept popping up so I said I would try. My initial problem was that I couldn’t find 10 consecutive days when I wasn’t traveling or had a food event. So I bit the bullet and started when I got back from NOLA. Initially I said I would only do 7 days because I knew we were going out to eat before On the Run. But after conquering temptation from a client breakfast meeting on Friday and a cookout and bookclub meeting (with much food and drank) that Saturday, I decided to go for the full 10 days. It was much easier than I expected. I don’t know if that’s because it was in the back of my mind for a few months before I started or if it because my body really needed a cleanse after NOLA. I didn’t eat a lot on my trip and because of all the walking and dancing we did, I came back from NOLA weighing the same as I did before I left (first time that ever happened!). My main struggles on the cleanse were working out – I had 0 energy, but I kept trying; and getting bored with smoothies. Not once was I hungry. I had some detox symptons on day 3 but after that, it was smooth sailing pretty much. It really helped that MM did it with me. We had some funny moments during the cleanse and celebrated the end of it with breakfast at one of our favorite spots. I took care to slowly reintroduce food into my system while he went all out. In the end, I lost 10 lbs and he lost 22.

If you think you want to do it, I highly recommend joining the FB group. The support in the group is immeasurable. When I get back home (see preview below) I plan to get on the modified cleanse and do another full cleanse right before my trip to Vegas next month.

Preview Currently, I’m headed out West to help my AuntieMom settle my cousin’s estate. This trip is a long time coming and I wasn’t involved in the planning much. I actually found out we were going last Tuesday right before On the Run. I know this trip is going to be hard on my Aunt. There’s a lot we don’t know so I’m not sure how this is going to turn out. I think I mentioned that she’s suffering from dementia so right now she goes 100 miles a minute. She never sits still so I hope this cross country flight won’t disturb her too much. My cousin’s girlfriend and another friend are meeting us there. Both are a little flighty but they know more about how he was living before he passed so we need them. I’m praying this trip isn’t too hard and we can finalize everything during the 2 business days we’re there.

That’s it for the preview. I know the title has previews but it wouldn’t have sounded right without that s, LOL.

Be Blessed!!!

Posted by: tazzee | July 4, 2014

Accessories

I’m headed to New Orleans for the Essence Festival! Not sure if I mentioned this in my June recap. You guys know I love music and there’s nothing like a good concert. You also know I love the city of New Orleans – not to be confused with anything but hate for them Saints, LOL. Anyway, the EMF is the perfect trip for me, except for the ridiculous hotel and flight costs. But that’s not what this post is about.

You may not know that I’m allergic to most metals. I learned this in my teens. As I tried to wear cute jewelry like my peers, I suffered from nasty rashes. After we thought my ear was going to fall off from the nastiness that comes from wearing such metals, Grandma took me to the doctor. He said I had too much acid in my skin and that I could only wear gold. This was devastating to my 13 yr old self! I tried gold plated, silver – nothing! Not even watches because the nickel on the back of the face and the clasp/buckle would irritate me. I come from humble beginnings (translation – we was on the welfare LOL) so I was a jewelry-less teen until I got my first real job. I bought a little gold chain. Because of the earring scare, it was a while before I tried them again. Side note – I fought so much when I first got my ears pierced, my holes were crooked. This was a needle and cork piercing. I mean, one was much lower than the other. My holes closed shortly after that first piercing because earrings irritated me. When I was 13, I went to get them pierced professionally and they made them even. If you look closely, you can see the crooked former hole LOL. I think I was 17 before I tried earrings again. And then I got some additional piercings. My staple was gold hoops and studs in the additional holes.

Fast forward to adult hood, I mainly wear white gold. I have hoops of various sizes, one necklace, one bracelet and a bunch of rings. So when I’m going fir a different look or trying to accessorize my outfits, jewelry is not the answer. My main accessory is eyeglasses! A few years ago Serenity hipped me to a website where I could get inexpensive glasses. Shortly after I found another. My prescription is fairly simple and changed once in the past 6 years. I have over 15 pair in various shapes and colors. MM says my eyeglass drawer is like Fred Sanford’s LOL.

So when packing, in addition to shoes, I match eyeglasses to my outfits. For this trip, I have 3 pair of regular glasses and 2 pair of sunglasses. I don’t wear contacts so I have to get prescription sunglasses. My favorite site only charges an extra $4.95 for prescription sunglasses. For Prince tonight, I have purple glasses with a leopard print on the sides. I’m ready y’all!

To give you an idea of how bad the acid is in my skin, for the 80’s party I referenced in my last post I wore a medallion. I only had it on for 3 hours:

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Posted by: tazzee | June 30, 2014

Happy Half Year!

First, I want to share the sermon notes I took on the day I truly became ok with my current situation (these are unedited)

Cleopas and Luke(?) leaving Jesus’ crucifixion headed to Emmaus. Sad that Christ has died. Headed to Emmaus to forget about their troubles. They felt Jesus let them down. Jewish law stated that the Messiah could not die but they watched Him die.

That feeling when God disappoints, He says “No”

What do you do when you prayed and did everything you felt was right and it does not happen?

How will I love Him even when He doesn’t do what I expect/request?

As Cleopas and Luke were on their ‘faith vacation’ Jesus shows up. That’s grace. They were so disappointed/angry with God, they didn’t recognize Him.

Christ reminded them of the scripture that He had to suffer. “Suffering crystallizes our identity.” We need to suffer, it shows me that I need to depend on the One who monitored my suffering and brought me through. “You gotta go through some things before you can get to the glory”

They recognized Jesus in the way He broke the bread. Verse 30. He took, blessed, broke and gave.
1. Starts with taking. Puts His hands on it, disturbs it, interrupts it, moves it to where He wants it. He will mess up my plans. He has His hands on me.
2. Next (if I can stand the taking) He will always bless. Malachi 3:10 type of blessing. 1 blessing that has residual impact and keeps on blessing. A vision. He will show me my potential; how I could be used. Useful, fruitful and effective.
3. Next is the breaking. Can’t be used without breaking. Breaking me of my pride and notion of self. Stripped of that which God cannot use. Without the breaking, I’ll misinterpret the blessing. So I’ll give God the glory when the blessing is realized.
4. He gives after the process. I’ll do more broken than what I could have prior to the breaking.

God will take me through this as many times as needed. This means there’s some use for me. My brokenness = purpose.

I cried crocodile tears during that entire sermon because it was just what I needed. Now for the life update:

– My birthday week was great. From Aruba to the awesome bike MM gave me to me trying to celebrate all weekend. I’m too old for that LOL!
– I attended the NABA (National Association of Black Accountants) annual convention in DC. Right after MM gave me a horrible cold. But that cold didn’t stop me! I was blessed to visit with plenty of loved ones while spending plenty of alone time with one of the BFFs. The trip started with an awesome night of karaoke and ended with the BFF and I playing Heads Up in the hotel past midnight with loud belly laughs.
– My friends threw an 80s party. WE HAD A BALL! If we’re friends on FB or IG, you saw the pictures. This party was right before the trip to DC. I just knew I was going to go for a ride on my new bike the morning after the party. My knees said no, I woke up the next morning and both knees were numb. Yes, it was a good party LOL.
– I still haven’t ridden my new bike. It took me 2 weeks to research and purchase the proper rack for my car (so not ready to ride the hills in my neighborhood). This lead to the numb knees day, followed by the trip to DC…. So I set out to ride yesterday. By now I’ve perfected putting my rack on the car. I’ve got putting the bike on the rack down pat. I got to the trail, smashed my helmet over my hair, got my bike down, ready to ride! Not – my tires needed air. MM has me follow him to the gas station to get air – the air machine is broke. So I still haven’t ridden my bike. But now I have a bike pump.

I guess that’s all for now.

Happy Half Year!!!

Posted by: tazzee | June 1, 2014

The Book of May

It’s June 1. I didn’t post in May, shame on me. May – the month of some pretty major events in my life:
– I was born 5/29
– I graduated from college in May (like most people) – 20 YEARS AGO
– My grandmother passed in May
– I got married in May
– I left Corporate America in May.

So much to celebrate along with the saddest event in my life. I’m still surprised at how that Mama song by Boys 2 Men turns me into a blubbering fool. And I can’t seem to avoid it around Mother’s Day. So let’s get to the life update.

When we last ‘spoke’ I was heading to NC for my cousin’s funeral. I hinted that perhaps now wasn’t a good time to go back to school. Two things sealed that for me. While in NC, it was cemented that my Aunt and Uncle need me. There was no way I could move further away from them. I came to this revelation the day before the funeral and decided I would delay my return to school for a year and apply to programs in NC.

The other thing that sealed it for me was being rejected by all 5 programs I applied to. I got 2 rejects early. I got 2 rejects right after the funeral. I got the final rejection right before I left for my vacation in Aruba. I responded differently to each notification. With first, I was nonchalant. It was the school at the bottom of my list. With the second, I cried. At this point I wouldn’t be going to school in Atlanta. I felt like I’d let MM down. While I wanted to study elsewhere, I knew he wanted to stay here. In my mind, I failed him. I held onto that erroneous mindset for a few hours – until MM and I were watching TV later that evening. Out of nowhere I started crying. Like a baby. I told him about the rejection as soon as I found out and I’d heard the disappointment in his voice. When I started crying I confessed my feelings. He immediately reassured me. It was another turning point in our relationship.

When the next 2 rejections came after a funeral, I was relieved. I’d already decided I wasn’t going and now I didn’t have to decline an acceptance. It was also confirmation that I’d made the right decision.

When I started telling folks I wasn’t going to school I got mixed reaction. My prayer partner came to the funeral so I told her about my decision and rejects at the same time. She cried. She felt sorry for me (which is the last thing I wanted) and also felt discouraged about her plans to go back to school. In her words “Tazzee, if you can’t get in school, I KNOW I can’t.” I comforted her and explained how my program was more selective.

When I told my BFF/current boss, she was ecstatic. It was funny. She admitted that she was sorry my family tragedy turned into a blessing for her. I’ll admit that I was concerned with how my leaving would affect her. We’ve been growing her business with even bigger things to come. She was so happy, she’s treating me to the Bey/Jay concert (front row) and agreed to pay for me to attend a conference in DC.

Of course MM was happy. In my last post I mentioned how, due to issues with his kids, it wouldn’t be a good time for him to move. Well the main ‘issue’ is the fact that his oldest daughter is pregnant – with twins. MM is about to be a grandfather. And please don’t get forever blocked from my blog by saying ANYTHING about me being a grandmother.

A convo with one of my BFF’s about school was eye opening. I mentioned how I could still teach at the collegiate level and was networking to make that happen. She mentioned that I wouldn’t make enough money (which is true) and I replied that me getting a PhD was never about the money but more about job security. As soon as the words came out my mouth, I was convicted. It was as if a God reminded me that I should be secure in Him. At that point a true peace came over me. Like I’d exhaled after holding my breath for months.

I know this post is already super long (hence the title) but I have to expound. This is the first time in my life that I don’t have a clear plan. I left my (very) good paying job to become a college professor. That may not happen. I don’t plan to go back to Corporate America. I reached my breaking point and was miserable. My ‘plan’ was the catalyst for me leaving. But what now? I don’t know. And I’m perfectly fine with it. For the first time since giving my life to Christ I’m totally trusting God for my future. I don’t have the six figure job to trust in. I’m just taking it day by day. I realize this may not be a big deal for some. Especially since I could float my resume and get another job. But it’s a big deal for me. When I left for college I vowed to never depend on welfare or have my lights shut off like we did when I was young. I made so many decisions to ensure my financial security. Decisions to follow the money instead of my passion. I missed family events and declined volunteer opportunities because of work. I forsook church service that might have jeopardized my job security. My last position did a number on me and showed me so much about me. Looking back, I should have left that place by my second year but I was a newlywed with 4 new step kids and felt like I needed the money.

Well now I’m getting my life back. For Mother’s Day MM and I vacationed with my Aunt and Uncle. 2 weeks after taking a week off for the funeral, I took 3 days for valuable time with them. It was exactly what my Aunt needed. And she expressed such to us many times during the trip. She said it was the best Mother’s Day she’d had in a long time. MM and I were so happy we could spend that time with them. They love my hubby so much I’m almost sure they’d trade me for him if they could. There’s so much more I can say about that trip but I’ll save that for the next post.

Anyway, my new life allowed me to leave for Aruba 8 days after returning from the vacay with the elders. But not before getting that last rejection. This was from my top school and my response was silly. I actually questioned God for a bit. Wasn’t He the One that told me to go back to school? But that was back in 2007, did I miss my window? Was I being punished for not being obedient back then? All that didn’t last too long because I was headed on a much needed vacation.

There’s so much more to say but this is already too long. My plan was to share more about the trip to Hilton Head with the elders, the trip to Aruba and my 44th birthday. I’ll save that for another time. But I’ll close with this – this PhD experience has been very humbling and enlightening. It’s brought me closer to God and it’s not over yet. I just don’t know what’s next.

And I’m OK with that.

Posted by: tazzee | April 22, 2014

Wide Awake!

It never fails, sleeplessness hits me when I have a full day. I’ve been up since a 3:30 potty run. I’ve done the usual: prayed and asked God if there’s any particular reason I’m up, checked my email, checked twitter, FB and some blogs, vowed to just keep my eyes closed until the alarm goes off, contemplated working out, and played games. Blogging is always a last resort LOL.

I’m headed to NC today. My UncleDad found out Saturday night that my cousin died. Their only son…. It was so unexpected. He was only 50. Apparently he had been sick but kept it from the family. He lived in California. The funeral is going to be Friday in NC. I’m heading to help UncleDad with the arrangements. I haven’t talked to my Aunt but I know she’s devastated.

I’ve gone between extreme calm and crying fits. My cousin and I weren’t close but he was my Grandma’s only male grandchild. Growing up, I admired him SO much. I wanted to be like him – until I got older and saw the part of his life reserved for grown folks. All I can say is my cousin lived a fast life. I guess that’s why I’m not super surprised at his passing. More than anything my heart aches for my aunt and uncle. My UncleDad told my sister that we’re (my sisters and me) all they have now. And it’s true. To make things worse, my cousin died on my other Uncle’s birthday. This uncle died 2 years ago. So UncleDad lost his son on his big brother’s birthday. It breaks my heart.

UncleDad wastes no time with funerals. My Grandma passed on a Friday morning. The funeral was the following Tuesday. I’m sure if my cousin’s body didn’t have to be shipped from Cali, his funeral would be sooner. Sometime after the funeral I’m traveling with my aunt to Oakland to handle my cousin’s stuff. I think I mentioned that my aunt is experiencing dementia so I’m not sure how she’ll process all this.

My mother asked me to buy her a bus ticket so she could come to the funeral. My uncle told me he doesn’t want her to come. I have to navigate this situation. He didn’t say she couldn’t come, but that she can’t stay with him and he wasn’t in the mood for her. So I’d have to pay for her bus ticket, hotel and probably a new outfit. I’d also have to babysit her, making sure she doesn’t get drunk and/or act a fool. I haven’t called her back with my decision yet but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be that she needs to sit this one out.

This and MM’s recent situation with his kids have me questioning my plan to move away for school. God and I have been discussing this. Well I’ve been asking. He hasn’t said anything yet. My UncleDad isn’t as mobile as he used to be. That’s why I’m going to Cali. Add in my aunt’s dementia and I’m wondering if I should move further away. MM never ‘wanted’ to move but he’s been willing to support my dream. When the most recent situation arose, I jokingly/not jokingly mentioned him staying here and he emphatically said that was out of the question. So I’m just praying for direction and trusting God.

My Holy Week social media fast was wonderful! I think it helped me receive the news about my cousin late Saturday. I had to start informing people. One of which was my other cousin in California. She doesn’t have a phone so I had to reach out to her on FB. She hasn’t yet recovered from her dad dying so dealing with her had been hard. She keeps saying its a mistake, it’s not him. She had her daughter call and ask if someone ID’d the body. Then, last night cuz got ahold of someone’s phone. She basically told me this all was a lie and hung up on me. I know everyone grieves differently but I won’t be answering her calls anymore. I just can’t deal with that type of grief right now.

Any who, I’m going to workout then take my car to get serviced before I hit the road.

Or I might just try to get 40 winks first.

Posted by: tazzee | April 14, 2014

Insomnia Randoms

I’m experiencing Claritin induced insomnia. This pollen is NO JOKE! Normally, I don’t suffer from allergies. With the exception of metals (I can only wear gold, maybe platinum but I haven’t tried), I’m not allergic to anything. My former co worker had it bad. Every Spring she’d come to work looking like death warmed over. I felt bad for her, except during quarter close (sorry). But I couldn’t really empathize. I don’t get sick much. I may catch a cold twice a year which is always followed by a lingering cough, but that’s about it. I don’t get headaches or menstrual cramps. I only get stomach aches when I consume too much dairy. Other than my acid reflux, I’m pretty good. One time, back in 2008, the pollen hit me hard. I thought I was going to die. Thankfully I was with my nurse sister that weekend and she kept me from going to the ER. Since then, I’ve gotten by with keeping my car windows up during pollen season.

Not this year. One day, before the pollen was visible, I drove to lunch with my windows down. After that extra long, extra cold winter, it as the first day I could do so. That evening, all allergy-hell broke loose. I was miserable! The next day, I went to the pharmacist with tears in my eyes pleading for help. I walked out with Zyrtec D – the D stands for drugged because that’s how I feel when I take it. Because I need to function, I purchased Claritin non-drowsy to get me through the day. The first time I took it, I passed out.

Let me pause and praise God for working from home.

So I resolved myself to suffering or staying indoors. I mentioned Claritin on FB and someone said she didn’t sleep for 3 days after taking it. I just assumed I was a drug lightweight. My next plan was to use the children’s formula. Earlier today MM wanted to open the windows because our house smelled like dog. I couldn’t tell because I’d pretty much been in the house for the past week and I couldn’t smell a thing anyway. So I took a Claritin so he could open the windows. That was at 1pm. Here it is 3am and I’m wide awake. I didn’t even get my Sunday nap. My alarm is going to go off in 1 hour for my BGR run. I don’t think I’ll fall asleep before then. BTW, in my state of insomnia, I googled Claritin side effects and the inability to fall asleep is one.

On to the randoms…

– Nervousness is another side effect. We went to see Captain America tonight. I normally have bad nerves and jump during action scenes. I might even scream if I’m caught by surprise. I don’t watch horror movies. Tonight I was worse than usual. MM said I embarrassed him. While leaving the theater, I mentioned seeing a psychiatrist for my bad nerves. My insomnia and subsequent google search put a hold on that one. And how can he be embarrassed when it’s dark? Everyone didn’t know it was me with all that screaming…

– I’m on a social media fast for Holy Week. This Lenten season has been one of my best ever. No, I’m not catholic and I didn’t grow up observing Lent. I do have some friends that were raised catholic and one year I joined them in fasting during Lent. I did my research first and decided that sacrificing to observe Christ’s death, burial and resurrection was alright with me. Until this week my sacrifice has mainly been food related. But this year, I don’t think I’ll go back to my old ways. I really feel a change taking place. To seal the deal, I took it a step further during Holy Week. Whenever I think of hitting one of my social media sites, I pray. God and I have chatted quite a bit today.

– I canceled my sprint tri. I’m not even sure if I mentioned it on here but I couldn’t get in training mode. First, the cold lingered. Then the pollen. Then I started thinking of the expense. The final straw was realizing that this may be my last birthday while living in ATL for a long time. The tri is my birthday weekend. Since I won’t be in class or Aruba or fresh off my honeymoon on my birthday (like the last four years) I plan to really enjoy myself.

– I hate insects. They contribute to my bad nerves. We have palmetto bugs (roaches). MM calls them palmetto bugs but they’re still plain old roaches to me. There are a bunch of trees right next to our townhouse. These suckas like to come in when it gets hot outside. I first experienced this type of critter when I lived in Houston. My coworker called them tree bugs or tree roaches. I’m sure I blogged about those suckas back then too. Well, I encountered my first one of this season during an insomnia trip to the bathroom. That’s probably another reason why I can’t fall asleep. Since I didn’t have bug spray in the bathroom, I assaulted it with Tilex and finally squashed it. I did scream at one point. MM and Babee slept through my scream. I’m glad it wasn’t deadly… update so in my state of insomnia, I googled and discovered what we have are ‘technically’ tree roaches not palmetto bugs. That was a hard task because each site had pictures. Gross!

– MM is finally speaking to 3 of his kids again. Well, let me say 2 because MM Jr. wasn’t involved in the mess that took place back in February. Two months of no communication and then a ‘rock bottom’ experience caused them to reach out. I’d been praying (my prayer partner more than me) that they’d be reconciled. I did express that he should let them know how that incident hurt him and get an apology before letting stuff proceed. The last time they disrespected him to this magnitude, they never apologized or acknowledged their wrongdoing. I expressed to him that if he lets it slide, they’ll think they can disrespect him at will. As his help meet, I plan to help him navigate this issue, but I’m still not dealing with them. I don’t think I mentioned that I had to block them from calling and texting. I had to pay an extra $4.95/mth for that mess. But it’s worth my piece of mind.

Well, I guess that’s all for now. My alarm will be going off in 30 minutes and sleep is no where in sight. I’m going to turn off my alarm just in case I doze off. I can always workout later.

Posted by: tazzee | March 31, 2014

First Qtr End 2014

I used to type stuff like this title quite a bit during my almost 20 years in Corporate America. It’s been over a year since I made the decision to leave and almost a year since I left. My only regret is that I didn’t leave my last job about 2 years sooner. Living beneath my means all those years has truly paid off.

Anywho, it’s the end of the first quarter of 2014. With this post I will continue my goal of posting at least once a month in 2014. I thought about skipping March since I posted twice in February but that would have been, what I call, a punk move.

So here are some March randoms:

– It looks like Spring is finally here to stay. Well at least based on the 10 day forecast. HALLELUJAH! I’m tired of the cold. Ti-RED

– I cut my hair. Not a lot, mainly in the front and top. That’s where my hair is fairly straight. If I were to assign a type to that area it would be 3a or b. Mix that with my 3c sides and 4a back and it always looks much longer than the rest of my hair it’s a pain when trying to style. We’ll see how this goes because I was “this close” to getting a relaxer.

– I hate being in limbo about school. This is really a test of my faith. Periodically I have my moments of doubt. Y’all know my favorite scripture. It is during those moments of doubt that I meditate on Phil. 4:6-7. I’ve also started journaling again to get me through.

– Consulting small businesses has been interesting. I think one of the reasons so many small businesses fail is the owners don’t have a mind for business. They have wonderful ideas and drive but lack business sense. I love helping others maintain their dreams.

– The surprise concert for Mrs. G was FABULOUS! She was so happy! Her Alzheimer’s has progressed and that saddens me but she has such a beautiful spirit. That hadn’t changed. When I was in Cleveland, she watched Scandal and the Oscars with me. Her commentary was hilarious! The Alzheimer’s caused her to repeat stuff over again. She was repeatedly surprised at Cyrus and James’ relationship. She said “His husband?!? Is everyone on here gay?” About 5 times. She walked in and out on the Oscars. As an older black woman, she proudly proclaims that she doesn’t like white people and managed to miss each time someone of color won an award. So her commentary of the Oscars was very colorful. Overall I had a nice time in Cleveland but it was too cold! I’m trying to head back up in the summer.

– We did see my mother and father. It’s amazing how close they are considering they’ve been divorced over 40 years. The visit wasn’t very pleasant. I’m accustomed to my father calling me fat, but it got so bad my mother and sister were uncomfortable. He actually called me ‘fatso’ and Jesus kept me near the cross. I’m good for another 2-3 years.

– I’ve had a few friends deal with death lately. Just yesterday we celebrated one of my BFF’s birthday while remembering that her mom died a year ago. It wasn’t spoken but the sorrow was there. Another friend lost her brother in law and another her favorite aunt. Whenever a loved loses someone, I’m reminded of my Grandma. I wish I could say the heartache goes away but after almost 14 years, I can’t. Every big event in my life, I wish my Grandma were there to share it with me. The good thing is, those thoughts are almost always followed by find memories that make me smile.

– MM and I are going back to Aruba for the Soul Beach music festival. I CAN’T WAIT!!! I need a beach so bad… Y’all don’t know! The lineup is the best since we started going. I’m also going to the a Essence Music Festival with friends. I always have a great time in New Orleans. I feel so blessed to be able to make these trips this year.

I think that is all. April, here we come!

Posted by: tazzee | February 27, 2014

Traveling

It feels like forever since I’ve been on a plane. In 30 minutes I’ll be boarding one for Cleveland, OH. Yup, you read that right. I’m going to Cleveland in February. My normal rule is that I only travel to my birthplace June-mid October. But this is a special occasion.

I know I’ve blogged about Mrs. G before but it was a long time ago. Mrs. G is like a mother to me. She was the director of my church choir. She used to pick me up every Saturday for choir rehearsal and every Sunday for church. Mrs. G is very special to me and I’m headed to Cleveland in the dead of winter to celebrate her 85th birthday.

We’re having a surprise reunion concert. Her daughter orchestrated this on FB and I can’t wait to see everybody. We’re singing old songs. Mrs. G’s favorites. Walter Hawkins, Mahalia Jackson and James Cleveland songs. I know she is going to be blessed. These older songs are important because Mrs. G is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. She’ll know all these songs and all her old choir members.

I’ve maintained contact with Mrs. G over the years. The last time I saw her was in August and I can’t wait to see her today.

I’m not looking forward to these temps. There’s currently a wind advisory and according to my weather channel app, temps will reach 10-15 below with the wind chill. 10-15 BELOW!!! Jesus be a fence…

My older sister is coming too. We’ll take some time to visit our mother and father. If you know my story, you know why they’re not the main reason for our visit. I’m sure I’ll have some twitter/blog worthy material from these visits.

Anywho, have a nice weekend folks. I’ll be scarce on social media because I suspect I won’t get to see Scandal tonight.

Pray my strength in this weather.

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Posted by: tazzee | February 11, 2014

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